1 question you need to master to stop overeating

The 1 essential question you need to stop your overeating

If you’re struggling to stop overeating or with feeling like you’re controlled by your cravings, then you’ll have screamed in frustration at the so-called ‘scientific’ studies that land in front of you every day.

Everything is over-sensationalised, totally hyped up, often contradictory… or just plain wrong.

Tips like:

  • Drink a glass of water and wait 15 minutes 
  • Suck on an ice cube 
  • Have ‘cheat days’ 
  • Eat whatever you want as long as you don’t eat more than 1200 calories 

Like any of these ideas are actually going to heal anything – they’re band-aids at best or setting you up for even worse cravings and binging later, at the worst.

It’s infuriating! For someone who just wants to heal her eating, and live happy and healthy in a body she loves… what’s a girl to do?

If your efforts to stop overeating or stressing about food are going nowhere, try asking yourself this one essential question to kick-start your healing.

One of the biggest things I see women who feel out of control with food struggling with is feeling like they’ve tried everything and have failed at it all.

Feeling free, calm, and in control of your eating isn’t going to come from distracting yourself from your cravings or your eating. But popular media just keeps on selling it.

They sell the idea that you have to just make the ‘right’ decision (usually whatever they’re promoting that day), avoid the ‘bad’ things and you’ll be healthy, thin, and free.

There’s also the idea that if you do make the ‘wrong’ choice, your cravings or unwanted eating is your fault.

It’s never your fault. No one chooses to hate the way they eat.

These public health messages tend to take a ‘one size fits all’ approach to what health is, and this never takes into account your unique relationship with food.

This is dangerous because it leaves you feeling like a failure and like you must be the crazy weirdo who just can’t get it right.

The problem isn’t you. It’s the advice you’re getting.

You need to find what works for you.

And that starts with a single question.

The 1 essential question is:

What does your perfect relationship with food look like?

So often I see women struggling to change their eating and get away from feeling trapped, ashamed, or crazy – but they have no concrete idea of where they’re trying to get to.

You must have a gorgeous, inspiring end-point in mind. Only then can you find effective ways to get there.

So, what does your perfect relationship with food look like?

As you’re forming an answer to this question, there are 5 powerful areas you need to consider:

  1. physical 
  2. mental 
  3. emotional 
  4. social-cultural, and 
  5. spiritual 

You might think that what you eat is totally separate from the rest of your life… but is it?

How often have you let thoughts of donuts or pizza disrupt your mental state? How often does what you eat impact the way your body feels and moves through the world? And how much of your spirit + self get sucked into worrying about food and body when you could be achieving bigger things in the world?

Grab your free worksheet (click here) and let’s work through these 5 facets so you can formulate a truly holistic answer for where you’re trying to go.

If your efforts to stop overeating or stressing about food are going nowhere, try asking yourself this one essential question to kick-start your healing.

1) Physical:

You know how overeating makes your body feel – and it’s not at all how you want to experience being human. So, when you imagine your ideal way of eating, how does your body feel? What do you look like? What kind of activities or movement do you do? How does your body feel after you’ve eaten? And what does the actual act of eating look?

2) Mental:

Worrying and stressing about food, eating, and body takes up a ton of mental time and energy. I used to wonder all the time what I’d think about or how much more I’d be able to do if I could just make all the food stuff stop inside my head.

So ask yourself: What would you most love to spend your mental time and space on? If you had your perfect relationship with food, what would your inner monologue sound like?

3) Emotional:

Emotions are mental things you can feel in your body, not just thoughts you have.

Like, when you’re angry, you don’t think ‘Gosh, I’m so mad’, you feel the anger in your body. Emotions have physical sensations, many of which are really unpleasant. Which is why you eat to avoid them (it makes total sense).

This doesn’t mean those emotions are necessarily bad, though.

So, when you’re thinking through what the emotional side of your perfect food relationship feels like, don’t say something like ‘only feeling the ‘good’ emotions’. Instead, think about how well you’ll cope, how you deal with setbacks, or how resilient you’ll be.

4) Social/cultural:

Emotional eating or feeling out of control with food usually changes how you interact with your friends, family, and social groups. If you feel unattractive, untrustworthy, or like you’ve got this big secret hanging over you, then you won’t be able to truly connect with others in the way you want.

So, when you’re thinking about your ideal relationship with food, also think about how you want to be with others. Confident? Relaxed? Open? Free?

5) Spiritual:

This is one of the most powerful ways that unwanted eating beats women down. When you end up feeling defeated and worried there isn’t any space left to step into who you’re really meant to be. So, imagining the freedom of your perfect relationship with food, how do you feel spiritually?


What to do now:

Now that you’ve thought through those 5 facets that make up your answer, sum them up. Write yourself a paragraph or two detailing exactly:

What does your perfect relationship with food look like?

After you’ve got that done, it’s time to take action. Click here to watch the Emotional Eating 101 workshop (it’s totally free), which shows you a simple 3 step process for deciding what actions to take based on where you want to go.

Is there actually a way that you (yes, you) can make healthy choices that actually stick and move you towards your eating, health, and weight loss goals? Yes!

About Samantha

Hello! I'm Sam and I'm an Eating Psychology Coach. I work with women who struggle with emotional eating and weight loss to develop new strategies and lifestyles so they can stop using food to cope, lose weight, and eat happy.

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