I am so angry at the world.
And I wish email had a ‘hug’ feature.
I’m angry because we’re taught how to care for others and not how to care for ourselves. I feel such a flood of emotion at the emails I get from women doing amazing things.
Women like you and I
Women literally saving the world – who work in the hospice, who are saving the rainforest, who work in palliative care, who work with children’s mental health. Or women who are kicking butt in their career, or are amazing stay-at-home mums, or who are just genuinely deeply lovely women doing their best.
Women who are making the world an honest-to-goodness better place by being who they are and doing what they do. And they know it. But, instead of feeling like the kick-ass mentors, role-models, and life-changers that they are… What they feel most is fat.
They feel out of control with food.
They feel broken. Defeated.
Like they’ve failed.
And that makes me so mad. That our culture, society, food environment, marketers… world, can take away the massive everyday accomplishments of these women and render them powerless.
You’ve got it sorted… except…
Many women have said to me:
“I’ve got everything else sorted. I’m really organized and can cope with a lot of complexity at work. I can manage others and care for them through tough times. I’m passionate about my career and am doing really well. Even my kids seem to be growing into decent human beings… but why do I keep eating and why can’t I lose weight? I think I must be broken.”
So, I’m angry.
My heart is trying to reach out through the computer screen, through the email I’ve been sent, and reach the wonderful, funny, caring, accomplished, and utterly not broken human on the other side and let them know how amazing they are.
What I want to say is this:
Firstly, I’m sorry if you’re not a hugger (neither am I), but I am mentally hugging you right now.
You are not broken.
You are not crazy.
Your eating makes perfect sense – it’s a way of coping with the world that you’ve been taught, exposed to, and encouraged to use since birth. It’s the foods that are messed up, not you.
Your worth in the world is in no way determined by the amount of space you do or do not take up with your body.
Your accomplishments and success have nothing to do with your ability to ‘control what you eat’.
Do not lose hope. Most eating behavior is made up of habits and learned patterns – and is utterly changeable. By looking at habits in the right way and learning more about your coping strategies and triggers, you can learn to eat in a way that makes you feel amazing.
Please, please, don’t waste your potential, your power, or your life feeling broken + crazy over food.
If you’re looking for somewhere to start (or re-start), here’s a video of how to take baby-steps to success:
And if you need a hand, let me know. I’m always here with advice, free worksheets, and an un-asked-for email hug.